INEVITABLY:
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Consider this: The room is full of people. You are with them. The person speaking to the group says something that hurts your feelings which was not anything directed at you. No one else in the room is hurt. Would you say that this particular "hurt" is unique to you? If so, might you consider what is different in you that conjures up "hurt feelings" that does not hurt anyone else's feelings in the exact place and exact time with you? Maybe, you can choose to let the pain go rather than languishing in the pain. |
You hurt me!
No I didn't!
Yes, you did!
No way! What makes you think I hurt you?
You spoke to me in a harsh tone of voice!
Do you think I wanted to hurt you by that tone of voice? Do you think I don't love you? Do you really think that I purposely tried to hurt your feelings?
Well, no.
Maybe, just maybe your feelings were hurt because of someone who did intentionally hurt you in your past. But if you know I did not intentionally hurt you, you can stop hurting and consider what I said rather then the particular tone of voice.
THE TRUTH IS, no one can hurt my feelings. Only I can hurt my feelings. And my feelings get hurt every time I think that someone is purposely demeaning me or embarrassing me or otherwise making be look bad in front of others.
THE TRUTH IS that what someone else says about you, says to you, or does to you will only hurt if you either believe they wanted to or if you know that what they say is true and you are HURT BY THAT TRUTH.
CONSIDER THIS: Next time someone you love and you know loves you speaks in a harsh tone of voice and you feel hurt, remember instantly that they do not want to hurt you ever and let the pain go away!
No I didn't!
Yes, you did!
No way! What makes you think I hurt you?
You spoke to me in a harsh tone of voice!
Do you think I wanted to hurt you by that tone of voice? Do you think I don't love you? Do you really think that I purposely tried to hurt your feelings?
Well, no.
Maybe, just maybe your feelings were hurt because of someone who did intentionally hurt you in your past. But if you know I did not intentionally hurt you, you can stop hurting and consider what I said rather then the particular tone of voice.
THE TRUTH IS, no one can hurt my feelings. Only I can hurt my feelings. And my feelings get hurt every time I think that someone is purposely demeaning me or embarrassing me or otherwise making be look bad in front of others.
THE TRUTH IS that what someone else says about you, says to you, or does to you will only hurt if you either believe they wanted to or if you know that what they say is true and you are HURT BY THAT TRUTH.
CONSIDER THIS: Next time someone you love and you know loves you speaks in a harsh tone of voice and you feel hurt, remember instantly that they do not want to hurt you ever and let the pain go away!
Faithful are the wounds of a friend.
but you say, “My friend wouldn’t hurt me.”
If you won’t let your BFF hurt you with challenging words, then who on earth can provide valuable input for you to use to improve your life?
Author
Executive Director of Oak Adventures: “A Therapeutic Approach to Relationship”.
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