BoB from California now living in North Carolina. -- Raised in a religious culture that might be called American Christianity. As we all do, I developed my religious beliefs from my relatives later in life discovering therefore that my religious truth was relative rather than absolute. I also ascertained that what I chose to believe in a spiritual sense was pretty much what I desired to believe. I accepted those things from my parents and authority figures and peers in my early culture which I wanted to believe. As I matured I continued to morph my faith into something I desired rather than insisting on finding absolute truth about God myself and others, which I now believe is true and pure spirituality. I have now abandoned faith that satisfies my desires and pursue avidly to know the absolute truth about me, you and God.
Religion ceased to be religious. When I discovered that “religion” is defined as “bondage to a creed”, no wonder I wanted to stop being religious. Since I found freedom at every level in my life from any bondage whatsoever, my religious pursuits ended and my relationship pursuits became prolific. I have changed my misperceptions into correct perceptions. This changed my fantasies into realities. For each of us, our perceptions are our reality. Loony bins are full of misperceptions which are so far from reality they require restraints and padding to protect the residents from harm to themselves and visitors. When angst or anxiety perplex my soul, I look for a misperception so as to exchange it for reality which brings real truth to me and takes away the misery of soul.
The room is full of people. You are with them. The person speaking to the group says something that hurts your feelings which was not anything directed at you. No one else in the room is hurt.
Would you say that this particular "hurt" is unique to you?
If so, might you consider what is different in you that conjures up "hurt feelings" that does not hurt anyone else's feelings in the exact place and exact time with you?
Maybe, you can choose to let the pain go rather than languishing in the pain.
You hurt me!
No I didn't!
Yes, you did!
No way! What makes you think I hurt you?
You spoke to me in a harsh tone of voice!
Do you think I wanted to hurt you by that tone of voice? Do you think I don't love you? Do you really think that I purposely tried to hurt your feelings?
Maybe, just maybe your feelings were hurt because of someone who did intentionally hurt you in your past. But if you know I did not intentionally hurt you, you can stop hurting and consider what I said rather then the particular tone of voice.
THE TRUTH IS, no one can hurt my feelings. Only I can hurt my feelings. And my feelings get hurt every time I think that someone is purposely demeaning me or embarrassing me or otherwise making be look bad in front of others.
THE TRUTH IS that what someone else says about you, says to you, or does to you will only hurt if you either believe they wanted to or if you know that what they say is true and you are HURT BY THAT TRUTH.
CONSIDER THIS: Next time someone you love and you know loves you speaks in a harsh tone of voice and you feel hurt, remember instantly that they do not want to hurt you ever and let the pain go away!